A Field Guide to Week 1, Australia, and the Many Flavors of 'Cleared'
The NFL starts in 10 days, one of the games is in Australia, and Patrick Mahomes is cleared in the same way you are cleared to look at the dessert menu. I am not making this up.
A Field Guide to Week 1, Australia, and the Many Flavors of "Cleared"
By GH | thegavfather.com
This coming week, the National Football League — a large American organization devoted to slamming large men into each other until one of them is holding a pointy ball — will finish the sacred ritual known as Cutdown Day.
Cutdown Day is when every team must squeeze 90 grown adults onto a list of 53. This is the same energy as a wedding seating chart, except the people who do not get a seat are described, in official documents, as "waived." If your name is still on the 90-man roster at 6 p.m. Eastern on August 30, congratulations: you have survived the Hunger Games, except instead of a cornucopia there is a special-teams coordinator.
Ten days after that, they play actual games. One of them is in Australia. I am not making this up.
Australia, which is a real place
Week 1, as currently configured by people who have never once asked "what time is it for the humans":
- Wednesday, Sept. 9: Patriots at Seahawks, 8:20 p.m. ET. This is the "we missed you" game, on a Wednesday, because the NFL looked at the calendar, frowned, and invented a new night.
- Thursday, Sept. 10: 49ers vs. Rams, Melbourne, 8:35 p.m. ET. That is Friday morning locally, which means a tight end with a repaired Achilles will be asked to play football after an 18-hour flight, which is the medical equivalent of "we also packed a banana."
- Sunday, Sept. 13: the rest of the league, like cowards.
- Monday, Sept. 14: Broncos at Chiefs. This is the one where Patrick Mahomes is supposed to start, assuming we can agree on the definition of the word "start."
A brief glossary of "cleared," Kansas City edition
If you have been following Patrick Mahomes this summer, you have encountered more categories of "cleared" than a TSA checkpoint.
He is fully cleared for camp practice. He has not missed camp. Andy Reid is sitting him for the entire preseason, which is a precaution, the way you "precaution" a soufflé by not opening the oven. Medical people have not yet cleared him for a game. Ian Rapoport said August 29 he is on track to start Week 1 against Denver.
So: he is the starter. He is also, in a very real sense, a guy they will not let play a game that does not count. Our board has him as a Week 1 starter at 0.95, which is the model's way of saying "yes, with a tiny umbrella over his knee."
If your league still has him in some medical dungeon: come out. The dungeon is closed. The starter is the starter. The soufflé is still in the oven until Sept. 14.
George Kittle and the list you do not want to be on
There is a list in the NFL called Physically Unable to Perform. It is the list they put you on when a body part has done something dramatic, such as an Achilles tendon, which exists mainly so television cameras can zoom in while a trainer looks grave.
If you are still on that list at cutdown, you miss Weeks 1 through 4. This is the league's way of saying "we are very serious about lists."
The 49ers took George Kittle off that list on August 23. I want to stress this, because a lot of ranking files — including, until this morning, ours — were still treating him like a man trapped in the list. He is not in the list. He has been doing individual drills. He has not been in 11-on-11, which is the football term for "the part that looks like football." Adam Schefter said August 30 there have been no setbacks and there is a legitimate chance he plays the Rams in Australia.
Our board now has him as a returning tight end at 0.80, not a late-round dart at 0.50. Week 1 in Melbourne is still a maybe, because of the flight, and because Achilles tendons do not care about Netflix's international window. If he sits, Jake Tonges is the person you accidentally start. If he plays, you started a Hall of Fame tight end in Australia, and you should be allowed to tell people at dinner.
McBride and Bowers are still the TE1/TE2. Kittle is no longer a rumor.
Other humans, briefly
Alec Pierce came off PUP on August 27. Week 1 is "the goal," which in the NFL means "we would like that very much, pending ankle." We have him as a ramp, not a hostage.
Tua Tagovailoa is not injured in the way our file used to claim (an "undisclosed camp issue" from August 5, which is the football equivalent of a sticky note that said "??? "). He has practiced. He has started preseason games. Atlanta still has not named a Week 1 quarterback, because they would like you to watch the pregame show. The remaining haircut is a job, not a rib.
Joe Mixon is not on a team. Brandon Aiyuk is still on the "left squad" list, which is the list you go on when you have left, and then the squad. Ricky Pearsall had PCL surgery and is out for 2026. If any of these names are still on your board, the board is haunted.
Keenan Allen was arrested in Indianapolis at about 1 a.m. on August 30. Two misdemeanor OVWI charges. He is still on the roster. The NFL, as a rule, waits for lawyers. This is a monitor, not a funeral.
Kirk Cousins is expected to start Week 1 for Las Vegas over the No. 1 pick, Fernando Mendoza, which is the kind of sentence that makes draft Twitter lie down on the floor.
What this is not
This is not a camp report in which a computer processed 1,000 data points and then listed every tight end named Bates. You already have one of those. It is running on a limit.
This is the column you read if you are about to draft, or about to pretend you drafted on purpose, and you want to know which of the scary medical words are still true.
Mahomes: starter, soufflé still in the oven.
Kittle: off the scary list, Australia optional.
Pierce: also off the list.
Mixon, Aiyuk, Pearsall: ghosts.
Australia: real. Wednesday Night Football: also real, unfortunately.
Full rankings at thegavfather.com/rankings.
An offer your roster can't refuse.
— GH